Losing my mind…

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The last time I saw my Grandma, I was used to her not knowing who I was. I can’t blame her, I only saw her a few times a year and lived thousands of miles away. But the last time I saw her, we talked for awhile and then she looked at me and said, “We’ve known eachother for a long time, haven’t we?”

Yes, Grandma, yes we have.

Today I read an article about Alheimers and I was encouraged by the idea that if you live you’re life practicing spiritual disciplines (praying, singing praise, reading the bible) you are more inclined to practice them even if you have severe alheimers. This is because you tend to lose your short term memory and revert back to what your lifestyle has been.

My grandmother spent some of her last days in peace. At lease every time I saw her, she was quiet but rather happy. But I also know she had days of fear and confusion. It breaks my heart. I would like to think of my old age as being one of joy, less stress, contentment, and complete trust in God. But meditating often on the word and spending lots of time in prayer now will be the only way this will come to fruition.

Am I walking with God in a way that it will forever engrain itself in my heart and mind? And not out of duty or to check off something on my list, but a devotion to a God that I can trust and have hope in.

A scripture that comes to mind and is something I will be meditating on over the next week is Psalm 71:

71 In you, Lord, is my protection.
Never let me be ashamed.
2 Because you do what is right, save and rescue me;
listen to me and save me.
3 Be my place of safety
where I can always come.
Give the command to save me,
because you are my rock and my strong, walled city.
4 My God, save me from the power of the wicked
and from the hold of evil and cruel people.
5 Lord, you are my hope.
Lord, I have trusted you since I was young.
6 I have depended on you since I was born;
you helped me even on the day of my birth.
I will always praise you.

7 I am an example to many people,
because you are my strong protection.
8 I am always praising you;
all day long I honor you.
9 Do not reject me when I am old;
do not leave me when my strength is gone.
10 My enemies make plans against me,
and they meet together to kill me.
11 They say, “God has left him.
Go after him and take him,
because no one will save him.”
12 God, don’t be far off.
My God, hurry to help me.
13 Let those who accuse me
be ashamed and destroyed.
Let those who are trying to hurt me
be covered with shame and disgrace.
14 But I will always have hope
and will praise you more and more.
15 I will tell how you do what is right.
I will tell about your salvation all day long,
even though it is more than I can tell.
16 I will come and tell about your powerful works, Lord God.
I will remind people that only you do what is right.
17 God, you have taught me since I was young.
To this day I tell about the miracles you do.
18 Even though I am old and gray,
do not leave me, God.
I will tell the children about your power;
I will tell those who live after me about your might.

19 God, your justice reaches to the skies.
You have done great things;
God, there is no one like you.
20 You have given me many troubles and bad times,
but you will give me life again.
When I am almost dead,
you will keep me alive.
21 You will make me greater than ever,
and you will comfort me again.

22 I will praise you with the harp.
I trust you, my God.
I will sing to you with the lyre,
Holy One of Israel.
23 I will shout for joy when I sing praises to you.
You have saved me.
24 I will tell about your justice all day long.
And those who want to hurt me
will be ashamed and disgraced.

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2 thoughts on “Losing my mind…

  1. When we would go to visit her, Gary would read to her from the Bible. He said she would get this peaceful look on her face and seem more there in the moment. It was a HUGE lesson to me that even when our minds go, our soul is still there, and God has got us in his hand. The Romans verse that nothing can separate us from the love of God has never been more real to me than seeing it be so true in Gerry. It was a big comfort to me!

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